Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A Road Less Traveled


We were driving north on Interstate-17 this last weekend when I got to experience one of the least observed and yet most widely seen sights in our nation that any of us have ever had the privilege to experience. Of course, I thought I would share my take on it-with you.
We got stuck in the long tail of stop and go traffic due to an accident, ten miles north from where we were. I literally stopped the car on the freeway, designed to be traveled on at 75+ miles an hour. I stopped, twenty feet beyond the last possible exit to escape back to the south and an eventual trip around a mountain, fifty miles out of our way. But then I saw it.
It was rare. As a matter of fact, I had never seen this before, at least I had never seen it at this speed, which was slower than walking.
Crap along the side of the road.
Trash, waste, spillage, whatever you want to call it. I looked out my window and down at the asphalt. I looked over at the retention barriers, the faded Sprite 16-ouncer. All of them were still. They weren't flashing by at 110 feet per second (75 miles per hour converted to feet per second-hey- I'm bored and you admit, you found that interesting). So, as we creeped up the hill, out of Black Canyon City, towards Sunset Point, I started to make observations. I wasn't going anywhere in a hurry anymore.
9 hubcaps in about two miles. Here's a question- what would cause you to lose your hubcap? Wouldn't you realize it when you did? One of the hubcaps was from a Mercedes. You know that guy got out and looked for it, you just know he did. Here's a better one-ice chests.
If you lost your ice chest, heading north out of the city, you had something in it you wanted to preserve until you got to your destination; something you wanted to eat or drink at the campsite you were heading to that night. "Hey Merrill, did ya heard that?"
"Heard what Carl?"
"That explosive crashing sound. Sounded like a forty-pack and five steaks hittin' da asphalt at whatever speed we'z were goin'."
"Nope, besides, you know'd I'm deaf in one ear."
I saw several vehicle shock absorbers. How big of a pot hole would you have to hit to jar one of those babies loose? There was also some clothing that, if given the right water setting and some Tide detergent, could probably be recycled. I almost made Joni get out and get a five-gallon water jug just sitting upright with the lid still in place, but then we started moving a little faster and I could just see her trying to run to catch up with me in stop and go traffic, she'd just about get to the car and I would have to move the car up again, all of it going up hill. I would never hear the end of it.
Then there was all the trash. Mostly plastic bottles. I would not mind the recycling contract for the freeway. You could make a pretty penny with all the plastic, metal, and rubber that you could put back into the economy. You'd get enough to be able to order cheese on your burger, that's for sure. The interesting part was that I didn't see any cigarette butts. I'm sure they were there but they weren't recognizable, so we have that going for us, which is nice.
I think we need a little Koran law when it comes to intentional polluters. I can see having part of your load come undone and your steaks and beverages are returned to the land, but to do it intentionally, bad form. I think we, when one of these 'road polluters' is captured, tried, and convicted, should have his/her left hand completely cut off and duct-taped to their antenna of the offending car. Several things happen. Most immediately, they will stop polluting while they drive. They can't, unless they steer with their knees and throw with their right hand. It would just be easier to toss the empty container on the floor next to their baggy of Colombian and bag of half eaten Doritos. Secondly it sends a message, like a head on a pike in ancient Rome, that we take our 'road pollution' very seriously.
"Oh, look Marge, there's another one."
"Yeah, I wonder what he threw away?"
Third, it would bring people back to conversing instead of texting and tuning the world out while they traveled cross country. They would look out the window, hoping to spot another 'Polluters Flag' flying stiffly in the traffic breeze.
After an hour and ten minutes, we passed the accident scene. It was almost cleaned up. There were a couple of police officers, three news crews, and an overturned truck about twenty yards off the road. It looked like it had been a bad accident (I guess anytime you roll your vehicle over while traveling at high speed on the freeway can be considered a 'bad accident'), but it also looked like everyone made it out. Ten yards beyond the accident, I began to accelerate to flight speed. It will be, hopefully years, before I ever take that tour again, but I was sure glad I got to do it.
The last thing I remembered as I pulled away from the accident scene and back into my weekend was the image of the accident and the truck.
It was missing a hubcap.