Saturday, January 26, 2013

Is the Panda really that hug-gable?

Today, in Phoenix, we've had rain all day. It was perfect to take an afternoon nap. I haven't had a nap in, well, years. Nothing like a little wolf nap on a rainy day to take the edge off. But then, random thoughts come rolling in to the brain pan that you just can't shake. Here's one for discussion: is this cute animal really that hug-gable? Can you walk up to this guy in the woods of China, without getting shot by the Chinese Army, of course, and give him his own bear hug without turning out like the great Chinook salmon in the Northwest, having your skin pealed off and your carcass left on a riverbank somewhere?

We stay back from the Grizzly and the Browns-why? Because we've all seen Jeremiah Johnson. We've seen movies where the bear wins. We've seen mountain men wearing hats made out bear heads and it is only right and fitting that those bears can lay claim to a few heads of their own. Frankly, I'm always rooting for the bear. They can't shoot back with a high-powered rifle---no index fingers. But we've never seen a Panda bear tear into a village of mini-Chinese folk and make chairs out of the villagers bones back in their own dens. Not even sure if the Panda has dens. But if they did, would we find some granddad's femur as an arm rest on a Panda's version of a living room couch?

All we've ever seen of these guys is cute and cuddly muffin tops. They roll around and eat bamboo. We've seen them on cereal boxes and as kung fu warriors, next to mice and snakes. If these guys had a chance, would they kung fu our asses, then eat them, then make a nice rue out of our bone marrow?

I know one thing, the little bastard just ruined my nap.