Mother's Day

If it wasn’t for mothers, kindness would not exist. Simple. Other things like devotion, dedication, the cornerstone of love, tenderness, would all have some skewed and distorted view of the world. A child will run to their father not a bad thing and far missing from our current world, but it’s the tender hug of the mother that cures the illness, broken heart, fear of the dark.

It’s the mother we call to in the night, in the throes of battle, on our cot while life drains from us. If our mother was non-existent, it is that hole we spend a lifetime trying to fill and never succeeding fully. But when they are there-with us, if we can move away from what ‘dumb’ thing mother said or did, we find ourselves smiling softly at her, looking at the heart of love while we know, deeply, she lives in us.

So today, hold your mother close, if not physically, then in your heart. She is the best in us.

Happy Mother’s Day

Good morning, Good night, I love you

Every morning and every night, my mother and father, told me they loved me. It was mostly my father in the morning because he was up when I went to school, sometimes driving me there, and he came in for prayers at night with my mother. At each end of the day, one or both of them said those words. Whether he dropped me off at school or said goodbye to me before I rode my bike to school, he said those words.

Love is a funny word. We said it for how we feel about the pizza we're eating. We say it with our favorite baseball team, music, food. We say it to people so they think we care, when all we really want is to convince them we 'care' enough so they will give us their bodies. Its a word sometimes used to bait what we want to catch. Especially as the night grows later at the bar we're sitting in.

Or, its a word that means-love. Men say it a lot. They need to mean it more.

It should be said in the morning to start the day and said to those we would take the hit for. We say it in the morning because we don't know what the day will bring, if that person we think of will ever be seen again.

We should say it at night, because the dawn is a long ways off. They should be the first words we hear and the last words before we slumber. We just don't know. You know?

If we can do this.....

I just heard this piece of equipment, Explorer I, just left the solar system last week. I also heard the computer system used to launch and run this baby in 1971 had less computer power than my cell phone. Scientist who did this used slide rules. For those of you that don't know what that is, when you look it up, the first thought you could have is WTF??

Now, here's a question, If we can send something like this across our known space, using gravity from planets to slingshot its way until it hit the edge of the block and then keep going, why do we struggle, even after all these years, with some other issues, such as-

• Couldn't we find a way to keep us from losing socks in the dryer? We put in two, get back one.

• This satellite was build when D cell batteries were in. Its traveled a gazzilion miles and its still running yet we can't build a battery for that computer size phone that fits in our pocket to last past noon.

• Along those same lines, can't we build a car that can go from here to our rental in San Diego on one battery charge?

• We still have floods and weather that wipe out cities and towns in low areas---then we build them back up in the same low areas----to get washed away again.

• They still haven't made an ice cream cone that doesn't leak from the bottom.

• A weed killer for that weed in your yard that has the little burr on it, which won't kill the other grass. The burr gets in  your socks and the bare feet of your dog.

• A washing machine that will wash the burr out without getting it stuck to your under dainties and the next time you put them on, the dog's foot is not what the burr is stuck to.

• We've all but done away with monkey bars on play grounds, the steel ones that leave a mark on an Arizona summer day. We need to bring those back.

• Tuna fish in a can WITH mayonnaise all mixed in.

•  A good fifty cent beer.

There are a few things that have been discovered or overused since 1971 that we really could do without.

• The Point after Touchdown.

• Men's make up. We are suppose to look like we've been in a bar fight with the ugly stick.

• Anything from Carl's Jr. $6 menu.

• And my top of the list item-Country Rap songs.

If I was President

 

‘If I was President,’ is a term we hear a lot these days. Frankly, I’ve heard it a lot throughout my years. Everyone has an opinion about what they would do if they were in charge of these here United States. It kind of depends what kind of mood I was in that would dictate what or how I would act. Yesterday, when I got home from work, I cut the lawn and worked out a bunch of stuff on the world level. An hour before that, a pitcher of beer was involved and the end of a week from hell at work doing whatever I do there was the start of the thought process.  

This morning, after a good night sleep, walking the dogs, and two cups of coffee, things seem a little more peaceful. Sure, there are world events, domestic issues, foreign policies that need work, but not this morning.

If I was President, I would get up and walk my dogs in the backyard in my sweats, under which I still have on my jammies. Secret Service would welcome me, standing right outside the door. “Good morning Mr. President,” Paul would say, all bundled in his winter coat. Paul pulled the night shift since he has only been with the Service for two years. He got the short straw.

“Good morning Paul,” I would say back. Juggling my dogs on leashes, the plastic grocery bag for the poo, and my coffee cup. I’m not sure why I have them on the leash. It’s not like they’re going anywhere and I wouldn't have anyone else pick up my dogs poo. What, the 'President can't pick up his own poo?' What kind of Italian roast would I be.? We would wander to the back lawn area, Paul already notifying the rest of the early morning crew that ‘Single-Malt One’ was on the move, heading to the back yard to throw the balls for Buckethead and Doc, two female rescued mutts.

The Service wants me to stay behind the bushes, standing out in the open allows for an easy shot from the street. I keep telling them I can’t get a good throw from there and it forces me to stand in the tulip bed. But I try to comply. But they know I have to go out and get the poo the dogs planted. I told the National Park Service guy, Teddy I think his name was, to leave a shovel by the hedge so I could pick the stuff up and put it in the bag. He told me he would get it. "You ain't picking up my dogs crap unless I'm not home and then only if I'm gone for a few days. I'll get it when I come back." The Service goes 'Yellow' when Single-Malt One goes out from cover to get the steamers in the yard. Paul wants me to run in a serpentine pattern. He rolls his eyes and tries not to laugh when I tell him to 'cover me.' He notifies the boys on the roof and they really are covering me. I drop the bag in the trash can on the way back in and put the shovel back.

There is a protester who is always there on closed off Penn Avenue between the perimeter gate and Lafayette Park, almost always living in his cardboard box with protest slogans written all over the outside. His been there for the last three presidents so I don’t take him too personally. “How you doing this morning Buck,” I yell. “You sleep okay last night?”

He waves back. He never says much, just waves, That’s pretty good.

I don’t stay long, much to the relief of the Service. After about three throws, the balls are so dog saliva slippery, it’s miserable to try to throw them. I come back inside and pour another cup then walk down to the Oval Office. I haven’t changed and I’m carrying the newspaper. I like reading at the desk,  splaying it out, seeing what Garfield’s doing today. That darned cat!  

I would go to the outer office where my secretary sits. She isn’t in yet. It’s too early. But I would start the coffee. They never figured out why the coffee was always made when the early office workers got there. They kept thinking it was each other. That is so funny.

I then would read something in the paper and want to make a phone call. Like this stuff going on in Kiev. I would call Vladimir. “Hey, Vladimir—Mark. I know you’re still pissed at the hockey outcome—what? Hey, ya hairless bastard, quit your crying, a bet is a bet. You kick our ass for years in that sport and we win one game and you go all French. Stop it. Hey, why don’t you call those protest leaders and tell them you want to talk? Because it’s the right thing to do, that’s why. Do you see the press you’re getting? Okay, yeah, I’m at my desk drinking coffee, so?” I would then call the North Korean kid and when he answered, hang up. That just cracks me up. Sometimes, I would call him just to say 'hi' and ask him how his meal the night before was. I would always make sure I mentioned what it was. Just as he was screaming into his phone at me asking me how I knew what he had, I would hang up again.

After the calls, I would see what was on sale at Target, but only if it was the Sunday paper. By then, it would be time for a little private time in the bathroom. I would use the one right off the Oval Office. I don’t want to walk all the way back to the apartment.

By the time I was done, the coffee would be done and I'd go get another cup for the walk back. It’s time to change for the day. I’m sure there is a bunch to do. My advisors keep wanting me to quit swearing so much. I tell them I am trying, but sometimes people groups just need to be told their stupid. They didn’t like it when the National Organization of Benevolency in Government said they were ‘personally appalled’ at what I said earlier in the year about something that escapes me now and my response was I was sorry their mothers had collectively dropped them too many times on their heads when they were young. My advisors wanted me to watch those kinds of comments. It made their jobs kind of messy.

Yeah, so, that’s kind of what I would do, at least in the early morning, if I was president. Now, for the morning and afternoon. Hmmm