The tranquility of rum

 

There is something about rum that causes religion to make sense. A rum punch for example, is or should be the drink one gets before they enter the Christian heaven. Christians can drink, so that applies. Rum is the base, the foundation-the catalyst of what is all that is holy and just. If there is a way to get the world leaders, who piss each other off, to sit on a beach chair under a cabana shade, with a fresh rum punch from the Coconut Grove in Antigua, within fifteen minutes there would be hand-shakes. Within thirty minutes, there would be back slapping and laughter. After forty five minutes, the two parties would be singing songs from each other’s country and making fun of their own country’s policy on endangered species.

 But…..

If you were to drink rum straight, without the flavor of a ‘punch’ whatever the hell that includes, what would that look like?  I talked about Kenny Chesney’s song yesterday. I didn’t talk a lot because I still needed to do some critical research about rum, of course. What would the difference be between rum punch and it being served neat? I set about doing the research and discovered that world peace could be obtained via this liquor.

While sitting on my beach chair, trying to write/edit two books, I came to the conclusion that life without this drink is life without, well-peace, tranquility, freedom, did I say peace? The trick is the little spice crap they sprinkle on it. It could be black tar heroin- this spice, a combination of nutmeg, cinnamon and something else,  but if black tar heroin tastes like this, they need to legalize it!

Now, about the horses.

You might remember I mentioned Shan, my new found friend, we met on the beach wearing a used red t-shirt and a flotation device, was going to bring horses today. I met him on the beach and gave him $50 for a deposit for the $120 horseback ride—today. Sure, I met him on the beach and sure, he looked like someone holding a cardboard sign on the corner of the freeway and the Camelback off ramp, but there was something.

Okay, so those of you making bets the horses weren’t going to show up, might still not be able to collect. Shan’s boss, Nick, showed and said they had the wrong date. We rescheduled for Thursday. So, we have to postpone the collection on bets until later this week, unless you had pretty tight bets holding to tight accounts of who shows or doesn’t show.

Okay, so tomorrow’s mission is to sail with Cap’n Nash and see the world from under. I’m banking this white boy will have first and second degree burns on his white body, totally justifying medicinal island recipes.

That just means more rum. I’m working not only its political benefits but medicinal benefits as well!!!

 Gosh I love sacrificing myself for God and Country!!!