Happy Fourth from a Hell Hole

Look, there are certain things a person needs to do, experience, live, cherish, run from, that we just have to do. That's it. We just have to do certain things. One of my burdens is I have to go to this town, Ouray. It's in a valley surrounded by 13,000 foot mountains. The picture is Main Street. It also doubles as State Highway 550. If you will allow me, spend the next 10 days or so reading about a place I hope none of you come to. I'm selfish, I admit. Please don't come here, it's just not worth it. If you double me, please read on.

This place is crap! There are people here for the 4th. What's up with that? Why do people insist on being where I am? Do I hear an 'Amen" from some of you? Frankly, people are over-rated. Here is the first of several 'briefings' from this god-awful place.

I have to wear a coat outside. At the bottom of the stairs where we are staying, which overlooks some crappy mountains that go all the way to the friggin' sky, is a taco bar with cold beer and, well, tacos and in the other direction is an Irish bar/restaurant with reasonably priced appetizers, a 1/2lb burger for under $9 and really good scotch and Irish whiskey, which, I have learned, should not be consumed back to back-note to self.

I went to the Fireman's pancake breakfast this morning-all you can eat for $5-then the parade down the highway-the picture above, which, yes, I was standing in the middle of.

Over the next few days, allow yourself the pain of knowing that I am suffering for you-to report the truth and expose this town for something you really don't ever want to enjoy. I will update you on the 'Bad boys of Ouray,' the delivery timetable of the Meadowfresh truck to Ducketts Market, which, by the way, is closed for today; also, any other ramblings and of course, tonight's fireworks which resonates off the mountain walls like you're in a steel trash dumpster and someone is pounding on the side. The fact that it truly is a bigger display then anything in Phoenix, just goes to show you how crappy this place is, oh, and they synchronize it to the local radio station which plays some of the best music selections you have ever heard.

Look, I know its hot and dusty there, but just be thankful that you're not here. You're blood-pressure might drop and you would have to stop taking all those heart medications.

Please pray for me.

That taco stand I told you about-they sell regular Coors.