Time to Start Running

Okay, Halloween is over and t'is the Christmas Season. Actually, according to Walgreen's, Christmas started back in August. I can't write much here because, well, I have to start running. I won't stop until the day after Christmas. That's just the way it is, but, I have made some decisions. See if you don't agree.

• Our family adopted the idea, a few years ago, to go out on Black Friday. Sure, it was fun once, maybe even twice, but now its getting up at 0-butt-crack of pre-dawn to go observe the Free Enterprise system at its annual birth. The Occupy's would crap baby kittens if they saw this. I said I can't write much because my new thing is to read the Black Friday press 'leaks' about what is for sale. Supposedly a big secret. Yeah, right. Hey, if it saves me ANYTHING I'm all for it.

• We are having Thanksgiving back at our house. Seventy-five hundred people are coming over. I'm thinking name tags would be nice, just on the grand kids. I don't give a hoot about the others. As long as they put the toilet seat down and take home the crap they bring, we're good. I do need to learn to 'let it go' so to speak. My motto at work is be the kelp-you know, ebbing back and forth with the tide. Go with the flow. Toilet seat, that is goin' with the flowin', oh, and don't miss either. Its a big target--hit it!

• This year, like every year, we are in charge of the turkey, I am forced--FORCED to buy a free range, organic free turkey from the foo-foo market. They're like three dollars more a pound then Jennie-O's. As a matter of fact, those bad boys are on sale for fifty-five cents a pound this week!! Why, tell me why, am I not buying one of those--I am this year. Yep! I saved the hand woven crate those free rangers came in last year and I'm going to put the Jennie in that and sneak it in the house saying so all could hear "HEY, HERE I AM WITH OUR VERY EXPENSIVE ORGANICALLY MASSAGED UGLIESTBIRDONTHEWHOLEPLANET. LOOK, I CARE WHAT YOU EAT SO I SPENT ALL THIS MONEY ON A THING THAT WE WILL ONLY BE EATING FOR 12-17 MINUTES BUT TAKES US SIX DAYS TO PREPARE."  Yeah, I timed it over the last few years. Thanksgiving, actual eat time, is only that long. That didn't even include dessert. That is right before the two hour clean up.

• That leads me to my next item, clean up. Everything is throw away this year. I don't care what the environmentalist say, paper products smeared with turkey and gravy decompose faster in the landfill. I swear. I want clean up to be less than one hour and only one run of the dishwasher. AND if you brought it, you're taking it home. There are just two of us living here now and I don't want your rhubarb pie. I don't want your homemade pumpkin pie either. Those are never as good as a store bought anyway. When you figure in time to make and then the applied eat time as listed above, the return is crappy. If it was a mutual fund, there would be a sell order on it.

• This year we, like last year, picked names in our family for gift exchange. We also shrunk the amount to spend, with a grand kid  exemption. I am bringing back the gift coupon idea which is always labeled as cold or uncaring. No, its perfect! Because if you buy actual stuff, your amount includes tax. You always have to count the tax-what is the final bill when you buy that pair of socks? $9.99 listed is not the final price. It's $10.87. You short your gift exchanger out of $.87 cents worth of crap. Bad form I say. Give the Gift of Pureness. Besides, you can get them on line.

These are just a few of my main points. You might have your own. The bottom line is to make a bottom line. Have some standards. Draw the line in the sand so to speak. But, just make sure you are nowhere near the entrance to Walmart when they open the doors at 3:00am. You might get trampled.

Ohhhh, that would be worth getting up and seeing!!