Oh boy, here we go!

I think there are several things that rise to the top of the creamy soup heading in to this time of year, this time of year being the Christmas season. Yes, you heard me, the Christmas season. Look, as soon as Walgreens and Costco put out the Nativity and Santas’ that look like gnomes, it’s time to break out the sweat shirts, wool socks, and we can all stop shaving our legs. I don’t care if it is still so hot outside you get butt chaffing, ‘tis the damn season and we need to be ready for it, like it or not!!!

Like I was saying, a couple of important things this time of year. First, set a budget you can easily break without losing sleep. Every year, sometime around 2:24 and 2:37am, I start waking up in a cold sweat worrying about whether I paid the power bill or overlooked them when I bought the “Johnny Rockets, Ghetto Commander Action Troll Dolls—‘as seen on TV’.” If you have a budget that you have room to bend a little like day old pasta, you should be fine.

Another item is boundaries. Somewhere around Thanksgiving, people start bugging us like left over cereal milk left in the front seat of your car. Once you break that thin seal of slime on top, the odor of the true contents waft over you and you are smelling it for a week. Set boundaries. Just say no, to anyone who wants to visit for anything over a forty-eight hour window, especially if they smell like stagnant milk left in a car. If they’re nice, then play it by ear, but don’t force it. Find them a nice Motel 6 nearby and arrange a visitation schedule. Allow them to bring food to the dinner. Better yet, just have them give money.

Pet your dog.

Practice singing Christmas carols with the wrong words. Then, when you’re standing in line at Starbucks, you crank out the wrong lyrics. You have, in just those few seconds, set a course for those around you for the rest of the day. They will have that tune you created in their head for the rest of the day, maybe even changing your lyrics into their own. Sometime late in the afternoon, they will look up the real lyrics on this here computer because they forgot them. Now that is seasonal fun!!

Remember, songs, dog, boundaries, and breakable budget. If you do, you should be fine.